Sexual Assault Victims Asked For It, Right?

Most people, when they see a dog in pain, feel their hearts go out to the vulnerable animal. Some people, however, enjoy watching animals get tortured. They also enjoy watching humans suffer.

Others say they empathize or sympathize with people going through painful experiences, but they deceive themselves and us by their actions and words. They might support an individual who has cancer, but when that same individual suffers from a sexual assault, they want nothing to do with him or her. Why many of us who have been sexually assaulted don’t address our assaults is because too many people believe we brought on our assaults ourselves.

This whole “Me Too” movement, however, has given permission to those of us who were abused 20, 30, 40, 50, or even 60 years ago to finally relieve ourselves of the pain we’ve been holding onto for however many years we’ve suffered.

How many of us over the years, though, have heard people say, get over it, let it go, admit your role in making it happen! So many of us who endured that type of suffering find ourselves with a difficult, and sometimes impossible, task to explain why we waited so long. We also find it nearly impossible to explain why we didn’t stand up to our attackers.

The reason I’m writing this blog post today is because of a situation in which those things mentioned above occurred recently. For some reason, in thinking about the “you asked for it” mentality, my mind wandered to people who sexually abuse animals. Bestiality isn’t common, thank God, but it does beg the question, in light of people who believe we seduced our perpetrators, what did the animal do to entice the human? How did the animal “ask for it?”

In exploring that concept, I found myself wondering what it was that made animals sexually attractive to humans. While those of you in the you-asked-for-it camp may be able to come up with an answer, I couldn’t. I could not think of a single reason why a human being would be sexually attracted to an animal in the same way I cannot understand why a father would be sexually attracted to his daughter or a mother sexually attracted to her son. The reason I say that those who accuse women (and men) of “asking for it” too often think the victim enticed the victimizer by dressing provocatively.  

So what does that say about victimizers? That they have no self control? That they want to have sex with their offspring? That they wander the streets, or their own homes, looking for weak victims to attack? That if a dog wears a revealing tutu, he or she is ripe for victimization?

My mind is going crazy trying to figure out the mindset of people who believe that victims played a role in their victimization! “Have you been sexually assaulted?” accusers smugly ask. Then admit your role in your attacker’s decision to assault you! “Have you been robbed?” Ask yourself what role you played in tempting the robber to steal from you! “Are you being bullied?” What did you do to invite the bully’s attacks?

I honestly don’t understand that line of thinking. Somebody please explain it to me.

#MeToo #MeTooMovement #YouAskedForIt

Are Republicans Greater Than God?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” ~ Declaration of Independence

None of us witnessed the signing of the Declaration, but most of us can agree that what our forefathers meant to be our inalienable (unalienable) rights was that Life meant not just having a pulse – it meant life sustenance; Liberty meant freedom from oppression; and Pursuit of Happiness meant the right to seek happiness.

The rights mentioned above are only three examples of our inalienable rights. The words, “among these,” indicate that we have even more inalienable rights – water, a clean environment, access to health care, food, shelter, and clothing, for instance.

So why, instead of providing health care to the citizens of the United States, do we allow our country to become sick, to wither, and to die? An obvious observation should be that a healthy country comprises healthy individuals.

Liberty, as stated in the Preamble to the Constitution (We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.), was granted to us through freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and freedom of the press.

While God isn’t mentioned in the United States Constitution, God is mentioned in each of the 50 state constitutions. Therefore, politically anyway, belief in God is understood to be a nationwide concept (In God We Trust). God (the Creator, Yahweh, etc.), according to most religions, has given each of us “Free Will.” In other words, if we are physically capable of decision making, we can, and should, make our own choices.

Sadly, those basic principles separate Democrats from Republicans. Take the issue of abortion, for example. My personal belief is that a woman should be educated about not only what happens to her body and to her baby’s body during an abortion, but also what happens to her mind long after she made the choice to abort. 

Before I was educated about abortions, I didn’t see a problem with them. But in 1980 my obstetrician gave me a pamphlet about the stages of my baby’s development, and my personal belief changed. After reading that pamphlet, I decided that if abortions were unnecessary and were used as a form of birth control, a woman should consider other options. However, I still believed (and continue to believe) that women had the right to decide for themselves what to do with their bodies. I have to admit that I have a problem with women ending the lives of their babies, but unless I’m willing to take responsibility for the life of her child and every child that Republicans want to keep alive, I have to remember that Free Will concerning that woman’s body and her baby’s body, belongs to her, not me. 

Republicans want to take away that right, our Free Will. And when Republicans take away a woman’s right to choose, they supersede God. Unless Republicans are willing to take personal responsibility for the life of each baby considered for abortion, they cannot demand women to keep babies they don’t want. If Republicans care about LIFE, they will then have to care about LIVING. Responsibility for a baby’s life doesn’t end at birth.

Another reason many of us feel that Republicans act as if they are more important than God is the way they treat the “justice for all” clause in the The Pledge of Allegiance. (I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.) The republic is a political order in which the supreme power lies in its citizens and their elected representatives, representatives who were elected to represent their citizens, and not only those citizens who voted for them, but also those who didn’t vote for them. What we see today is a lack of fairness and justice for only “some”.

If Republicans don’t fight the incipient evil penetrating their ranks, the people they represent, who rely on them for support and representation, will lean in another direction. Citizens of our United States would like to see in our leaders honesty, integrity, empathy, compassion, confidence, commitment, passion, accountability, creativity, inclusion, and ambition. And we want to trust that our representatives are working in our best interests. Instead, what we see in the White House today are lies, deceit, distraction, combative tweets, divisiveness, incendiary vitriol, and separation.

Citizens want to feel confident in their chosen representatives, but they feel betrayed when those representatives don’t live up to their promises or to voters’ expectations. Voters also want people who play on the same field, who understand their wants and needs, politicians with honor. What they don’t want are politicians who place themselves on pedestals and who yearn only for admiration and loyalty by demanding marching bands who praise their sociopathic behaviors. They also want relationships with our allies – bridges, not walls.

Future generations will wonder why the character of a Republican was best exemplified by the likes of Donald Trump, and not by the character of people such as John McCain. They will wonder why Republicans never addressed the health benefits of clean air, affordable health care, and education for all, but mostly they will wonder why so few Republicans had the courage to stand up for decency, truth, and honor. 

Years from now, historians will condemn Republicans, not by what said, but by what they didn’t say, not by how they acted, but by how they didn’t act. If integrity doesn’t soon take hold of the Republican party, the party will collapse in disgrace. (I don’t consider myself to be a Democrat, a Republican, or an Independent, by the way, but right now, if I was a party-loyal Republican, I would be ashamed to call myself a Republican.)

Most people with a conscience, when they see an obvious wrong, such as human beings being deprived of their basic inalienable rights, including life sustenance, freedom from oppression, and the right to seek happiness, address the problem and seek a solution. But when Republicans remain silent, when Republicans feed into self-serving greed, and when Republicans aren’t courageous enough to speak up for those being denied their inalienable rights, they are no better than those silent people who allowed Hitler to remain in power. Imagine their campaigns years from now when they want votes. What will their opponents reveal? Their lack of courage? Their impotence? How will you, as a representative, want to be remembered? How can citizens of this country feel secure in the midst of so much chaos?

According to dailyshakeup.com, some Republicans are stepping up. John McCain was one of them. Other senators include Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Lindsey Graham, Rand Paul, Ben Sasse, Rob Portman, Bob Corker, and Marco Rubio. Even conservative journalists, like Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin, have stood up to the injustices running rampant in the White House. We have to believe that more upstanding Republicans are out there. Show us that you care!

Republicans, do you know what the rest of the United States thinks of you? – That you support Trump’s actions; that you want to keep children in cages away from their parents; that, instead of supporting the people who voted for you, you betray them by supporting Nazis, Nazi sympathizers, Kim Jong Un, and Vladimir Putin; that you support insanity, chaos, and war with our allies; that you don’t know Puerto Rico is part of the United States; that you enjoy divisiveness and forget that we are supposed to be a UNITED States; that you are ignorant about climate change; that the reason you can’t speak up for what is so obviously wrong is because you must have signed an NDA or that you are benefiting monetarily by keeping silent; that you are greedy; that you have no heart; that you have no soul; and that you are all cowards. We are a country sinking into depravity, and your party, the Republican party, has become fractured!

Please, Republicans, speak up! Stand up! Don’t ignore the injustices perpetrated by this White House. You are supposed to work for US! Don’t allow yourselves to drown with the rest of the ship. Show some integrity! Be accountable! Be morally courageous! Be Kind! And remember that you work for US!

After I wrote the above opinion, but before I posted it to my blog, I had a chance to listen to President Barack Obama’s speech at the University of Illinois in Urbana. He traveled a street I frequent. His voice and his words were a refreshing change from the chaotic and often confusing words of our current president. And when he supported the words I wrote in this blog, without knowing he did, of course, I felt empowered.

So, again, Republicans, PLEASE be heroes and make the Republican party strong again!

#Republicans #Democrats #voters #trump #Obama

Did the Electoral College Cost Clinton The Election? Do Our Votes Really Matter? December 19, 2016 Could Change the Outcome of the Election!

Seven stages of grief: shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance.

In all my years of living on this planet, I’ve never seen a nastier election than the one that took place in 2016. Most of us have just gone through the 7 stages of grief, not all of us because Hillary Clinton lost, but because Donald Trump won.

Voting has been our constitutional right, and we have had that right since the 19th Amendment was added to the Constitution, but does it really matter? We voted. We made our choice. Didn’t we? Yes, we did, but our votes really didn’t matter. The Electoral College actually determined the outcome, despite the numbers shown by the majority vote.

Was it because media showcased Trump and made a circus out of the election this year? After all, sensation-making tabloids contributed to that circus, and reporters couldn’t get their headlines written fast enough. Really? Let’s stop blaming media, people, because nobody trusts what they hear or read anyway, do they?

Sadly, the opposite is true. Many people determine their choices based on tabloid material posted in easy-to-access kiosks situated near grocery store cashiers. Instead of reading material that comes from a reputable and reliable source, like USA.gov, where investigators can plug in questions to get actual verifiable answers, too many readers rely on opinions.

But wait, there’s more…many of those people base their opinions on the opinions of others. So while (hopefully a majority of) people vote for candidates based on the information they discover by listening to debates and reading material posted on government websites, and not on partisan newspapers or other media sites, many (intentionally) uninformed people vote for their next president based on opinion polls and misinformation derived from skewed sources.

The only eligibility requirements for presidential candidates are to be 35 years of age, a resident of the United States for 14 years, and a natural born citizen. Intelligence, temperament, wisdom, experience, and a proven track record don’t factor in to the requirements. Any of us, even those of us without any political experience whatsoever, can run for president. And if that candidate appeals to our emotions, we don’t seem to care what he or she promises; we vote because the candidate says, “We need change!”

We applaud! We agree! We’ve been agreeing for decades. Nothing more substantial needs to be uttered. Yes, we need change! But we don’t listen to or care to find out how the candidate proposes to make those changes. We love the promise. The candidate hopes we’ll forget about the results.

We are also a world obsessed with sensationalism vs. common sense. Welcome to the new Divided States of America, a nation filled with a Jerry Springer, National Enquirer, shoot-first-ask-questions-later mentality. I can already hear Trump supporters chanting, “Donald, Donald, Donald,” every time Trump takes the podium. What kind of nation have we become?

While the election was still taking place, I sincerely wanted to know why people would vote for Trump, so I talked to some of my Republican family members and friends who knew, before debates or voting began, that they would be voting Republican, no matter who the candidate would be. Did they watch the debates? No. Most of them didn’t. They hate politics and they didn’t want to listen to the lies. Did they know the issues? No. Again, many of them didn’t have a clue. They knew only that they were Republican and that was all that mattered. Did they agree with the policies set forth by their candidate? No. Many of them didn’t really know the policies, but they were glad Trump was building a wall to get rid of all those Mexicans, and they were glad that Trump would be getting rid of “Obamacare,” even though most of them knew I could never get insurance and that I might die as a result of no affordable care (and, trust me, I agree that the ACA absolutely needs an overhaul, because it most definitely is NOT affordable, but PLEASE don’t get rid of it – just make it affordable).

But back to the issue of politics and why people vote the way they do – subversive tactics work. Pay a “source” some money, and watch the “source” weave a tale so unbelievable that only the gullible and vulnerable will believe it to be true. Then take that “information” to a tabloid, throw in a few pictures, which have also been altered – take that head off one person, for instance, and replace it with the head of another person we want people to believe performed the atrocity, and people will believe the story, because they know nothing about how to fake photography or video. Or show a photo with an absurd headline and people will believe the insinuation. They know it can be done, but they don’t believe it was done to that photo or that video.

When you twist a lie often enough – through words, photos, or video – and you entice people to believe they’re seeing truth, people will believe you. What’s more, people will tell other people who tell other people and before you know it, the lie has become “public knowledge,” and therefore, the truth – twisted, distorted, and unrecognizable – but, for people who don’t care to know the actual truth, believable.

Here are some examples about how one tabloid persuaded voters to vote for Trump.

But let’s get back to the Electoral College, the votes that really matter. Is the Electoral College constitutional? According to the government’s own archives,  “…the term ‘electoral college’ does not appear in the Constitution. Article II of the Constitution and the 12th Amendment refer to ‘electors,’ but not to the ‘electoral college.’” Also, from the same source, “Many different proposals to alter the Presidential election process have been offered over the years, such as direct nation-wide election by the People, but none have been passed by Congress and sent to the States for ratification as a Constitutional amendment. Under the most common method for amending the Constitution, an amendment must be proposed by a two-thirds majority in both houses of Congress and ratified by three-fourths of the States.”

Though “Public opinion polls have shown Americans favored abolishing it by majorities of 58 percent in 1967; 81 percent in 1968; and 75 percent in 1981,” the Electoral College remains. “Any candidate who wins a majority or plurality of the popular vote nationwide has a good chance of winning in the Electoral College, but there are no guarantees (see the results of 1824, 1876, 1888 and 2000 elections).”

“Since this sort of bargaining over the presidency was the very thing the Electoral College was supposed to prevent, the Congress and the States hastily adopted the Twelfth Amendment to the Constitution by September of 1804.”

***

Amendment XII

(from the Constitution Center)

ELECTION OF PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT

Passed by Congress December 9, 1803. Ratified June 15, 1804. The 12th Amendment changed a portion of Article II, Section 1. A portion of the 12th Amendment was changed by the 20th Amendment

The Electors shall meet in their respective states and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President, and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate; — The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted; — The person having the greatest number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

***

Of the 538 electoral votes, 270 is the magic number to win. Tara Ross from Prager University, says, “The Founders had no intention of creating a pure majority-rule democracy.” She also said, “pure democracies do not work. They implode.” She talks about the “tyranny” of the majority when she says, “In a pure democracy, bare majorities can easily tyrannize the rest of the country.” She believes that an electoral college “encourages coalition building” and “discourages voter fraud.”

NBC News reports, “The Founders didn’t think ordinary people — even the white male property owners who were the only ones allowed to vote — were informed or responsible enough to choose the president. (Letting them do so, said Virginia’s George Mason, would be like referring a trial of colors to a blind man.) So they created a double buffer. State legislators would choose presidential electors, who would be ‘most enlightened and respectable citizens,’ as John Jay put it. Then, these elites would come together at an Electoral College and use their superior wisdom and intellect to decide on a president.”

Obviously, the Electoral College believes that most of us aren’t intelligent enough or informed enough to vote responsibly. And the electors may be right.

Though Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, clearly states, “…that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth,” if the majority of people vote one way, the Electoral College sees the majority as tyranny? Am I the only one who thinks that “reasoning” makes no sense? According to a video mentioned above, the majority of people are not wise enough to choose their own president; therefore the Electoral College steps in to tell the voters how they really want to vote. I find that supposition absurd!

Not everyone agrees that the electoral college is necessary, however. Plug, “electoral college” into YouTube and watch the disparity of arguments for and against the process.  How are we a nation of the people, by the people, and for the people? We are not. We are a nation run by the Electoral College and the banks.

As NY Times contributor, Christopher Suprin, who is also a member of the Electoral College, states, “The election of the next president is not yet a done deal. Electors of conscience can still do the right thing for the good of the country. Presidential electors have the legal right and a constitutional duty to vote their conscience. I believe electors should unify behind a Republican alternative, an honorable and qualified man or woman such as Gov. John Kasich of Ohio. I pray my fellow electors will do their job and join with me in discovering who that person should be.”

On December 19, 2016, the Electoral College will meet once again to decide the final outcome of this year’s election. Will wisdom prevail? Or will the United States go down in history as the most bigoted, mysogynistic, and ridiculous retrograde nation ever to appear on Earth?

To find out the number of electoral votes for your state, click HERE.

Related reading: Political Nonsense, Predator Trump, The Politics of Persuasion, and Abolishing the 19th Amendment

Tired of Clinton and Trump? You Have Other Options! Stein and Johnson! Read:

I’ll make this short. You have other options. Please don’t blindly vote for just any candidate. I’ll repeat: you have other options. Check out the policies and issues of all candidates before you vote. Visit the web pages below:

Hillary Clinton 

Donald Trump 

Jill Stein 

Gary Johnson 

#2016PresidentialElection

Political Nonsense, Predator Trump, The Politics of Persuasion, and Abolishing the 19th Amendment

When I read the tweet from the Los Angeles Times about Trump and the 19th Amendment, I realized that the United States was in more trouble than I thought it was. Did Trump backers really tweet, “#repealthe19th as polls show he’d win if only men voted”?

I know I’m not alone in thinking that something has gone seriously wrong with – well, everything political! How is this election even taking place? The first presidential debate was bad enough, but the second presidential debate was farcical! This craziness is causing me to dread and, at the same time, look forward to watching the next debate!

Because Trump practically stalked Clinton on the stage during the last debate, I’m curious to see what new tactic he’ll abuse in what I’m sure will be another obvious attempt to intimidate Clinton. And that’s the problem – instead of paying attention to the content of the debate – the issues – I have to derail my own thinking so I can ignore the outrageous behavior of Trump and concentrate on how the candidates stand on the issues! After two debates, I still don’t have a clue what Trump stands for, other than to abuse Clinton, criticize numerous diversified groups, and blather on and on about nothing.

What I found interesting/disturbing during the last debate was that while Clinton kept trying to answer questions posed to her from a panel of voters, which was the purpose of the debate, and while Clinton focused on the issues, Trump’s only objective was to trip her up. And his only focus was to belittle, manipulate, and bully her. I half expected Trump to open his jaws and swallow her whole and then slither back to his podium to claim victory.

As the reptilian-eyed wannabe presidential hopeful slithered around the stage, hoping to bite off the head of his prey, prancing behind her and all around her, his prey avoided his attacks by handling herself with integrity and grace. Yes, Trump is running the show, and the commentators, though they try, can’t seem to stop his vitriolic rants from vomiting out of his mouth and oozing out of his pores.

What amazes me more than his theatrics, though, is that Trump has followers who don’t mind – and even applaud – his negative behavior. I’m not the only one who notices his wildly exaggerated claims and blatant lies (“I never said that!” he often says, though videos show him saying the things he claims he never said). But that’s Trump and that’s what we’ve come to expect from Trump. Like Abby Norman who wrote, Be not afraid of Trump; be afraid of the people who support him, I’m more afraid of the people who believe in him than I am of him.

I have to admit that his powers of persuasion are pretty impressive – tell enough lies enough times, and people will believe them, simply because they’ve heard them so many times – they sit in memory banks in the brain, and memory doesn’t distinguish between truth and lies – it merely says, “I remember that. I’ve heard it before; therefore, I must unconsciously deposit it in the truth sector of my brain and withdraw it when somebody questions me.” Trump has managed, through this effective form of mind manipulation, mind control, and brainwashing, to convince his followers to believe whatever lies he tells them, because he has convinced them they are true.

Can we blame the #trumppuppets, though? Because he has infiltrated their minds, they can do nothing other than follow him; he pulls the strings. Those of us bewildered by this unbelievable drama find ourselves shaking our heads at his ability to warp their minds. And yet that routine has worked to his advantage – learn how to use the minds of others effectively and you can convince people to do or think anything, no matter how absurd.

Trumppuppets scream, “Hillary wants to take away all of our guns!” and, “Hillary promotes killing all babies!”

No, she doesn’t. That’s what trumppuppets perpetuate from the lies they read and from opinions – repeat – opinions – they hear from other trumppuppets. If you listen carefully to Clinton’s words, you will find that she never said anything even remotely close to what voters have been led to believe. For those poor souls who still cling to the belief that Trump will actually win this election, let me elucidate:

Gun Control does not mean no guns!

Pro Choice does not mean pro abortion!

Cloaking Truths with Lies does not make lies truths!

Because a lot of my online friends come from other countries, I find their comments on the ridiculousness of our current campaign to be enlightening. Though most of them are sympathetic to what they perceive to be a circus, some people are appalled by what they are witnessing.

Which brings me to the 19th Amendment. Why would trumppuppets want to abolish it? Do they so blindly follow their “leader” that they don’t understand the consequences of their beliefs? Do they understand that the 19th Amendment gives every U.S. citizen, including women, the right to vote? The 19th Amendment reads:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

When I think of how difficult it must have been for women to finally get the right to vote, I can’t imagine going back to a time when women were forced to stay in their homes barefoot and pregnant while men ran the world into the ground.

What I really don’t understand is how anybody can blindly follow any candidate without first validating sources and checking facts. Facts are not opinions, and if you base your support for a candidate on the opinions of others, you really need to educate yourself. People who believe every opinion they hear, rely on nothing other than hearsay. Too many people never listen to a debate! They read only snippets of edited commentary from unreliable sources.

Listen to the words, Voters! Listen to the words – unedited words – that come out of your presidential hopeful’s mouth. Watch the debates! Look at the candidates’ actions and reactions. Form your own opinions based on facts, not on others’ opinions! Allow the candidates to speak for themselves! Check out politifact.com or snopes.com if you want to know the truth about something, before you spread more of this infection on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other media sources!

Related reading: Immigration Rant – America’s Dirty Secrets

#trumppuppets

 

12 Reasons Why We Are Becoming More Violent

Are we becoming more violent, or are we just becoming more aware of violence? If Cain killed Abel today, the local evening news might cover Abel’s murder, but most likely, unless we knew the brothers personally or experienced for ourselves the aftermath of a similar violent act, we might forget about it tomorrow.

And because we are a nation (U.S.) consumed with statistics, we might try to comprehend violence by analyzing murder, by counting the number of murders committed yearly, for instance. And we would break the numbers down to the percentage of murders committed by strangers compared to the number of people familiar to the victim. Then we would further categorize the familial murders into parent-child, sibling-sibling, child-parent, uncle-nephew, and so on.

But by statistically analyzing murder, we appear to rationalize it. Violent crime is not rational! World wars, civil wars, gang violence, domestic “disturbances,” rape, murder, incest, and other acts of violence happen on a regular basis. They intrigue us, but do they affect us as much as they would if they occurred only occasionally?

Maybe we are becoming numb to cruelty. We hear about wars raging in other countries, we hear about bombs dropping on defenseless families, and we read about motherless children wandering the streets, and then we close our laptops or our newspapers and we continue our house-hunting plans or we see how much money we can spend online.

According to the FBI, “In 2014, there were an estimated 1,165,383 violent crimes.” Maybe we muttered, “great, there’s another one,” or maybe we were so incensed, we designed a plan to eradicate violence in our communities or at least educate people on how to handle their frustrations, anger, and rage more effectively. Then again, maybe we didn’t.

Maybe becoming more violent doesn’t even matter anymore. A lot of people feel that if everyone had a gun, we’d be less violent. But violent crimes are committed by people who can’t control themselves. Can anyone stop brutality in people who are mentally unstable?

Wouldn’t choosing peace over violence seem to be more natural? Owning a gun will not help us if we’re confronted with demonic, impulsive, and out-of-control psychopaths. We can’t control violent acts they commit, but we can try to understand why they act violently and why they use savage means to resolve conflict.

PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH VIOLENCE:

Erroneous thinking

So many people think that because one person from any ethnic or religious group performs a violent act, all people from that group are evil. Case in point – thinking that all priests are pedophiles because of all the priests who have been found guilty of pedophilia. We tend to group people together and use one example of one person to exemplify everybody else in that group.

Instant gratification

We have become a world that expects results – NOW. And we want others to accommodate our needs immediately. Example – you make me angry because you don’t think the way I do; therefore, I have the right to kill you, regardless of the consequences. My immediate need for gratification is more important than any long-term goals you might have – my need is even more important than your life.

Short-term violent solutions to long-term problems

Similar to the paragraph above, people solve long-term problems with short-term – and often violent – solutions. My marriage isn’t working and my spouse just made me angry. My rage is my spouse’s fault and if death results, so what? What matters are my needs, not the needs of my spouse or others who irritate me. Only I matter, and if I have to take shortcuts to resolve my issues by whatever means necessary, I can – and I will!

Blame

It’s everyone else’s fault. I don’t need to take responsibility for my actions, because I didn’t cause my problems – other people did and they have to pay for what happened to me!

Fame

Media cover crimes and give attention to violent acts – if I perform some kind of vile act, I might get famous. Famous or infamous – doesn’t matter – I want everyone to know my name.

Proving a point

I’m right; you’re wrong. Therefore, I can do whatever I want to do to you to prove my point, even if that means pointing a gun at you and blowing your brains out. Never mind the fact that you will die – I will have proven my point.

Access to illegal weapons

I have a criminal background, so no reasonable gun dealer will sell me a gun, but I can find someone to sell me an assault rifle and I can go on any overpass, into any movie theater, on any playground, in any school or church, or in any mall I want and randomly kill anybody who crosses my path. It’s just something I want to do to release my rage and you can’t stop me!

Drugs/Alcohol

Drugs and alcohol give me a feeling of invincibility. I can do whatever I want to whomever I want whenever I want. Drugs and alcohol make me feel powerful!

Misplaced revenge

My parents abused me when I was a kid, so my horrible background gives me every right to hurt anybody I want. I believe I should suffer no consequences because of what my parents did to me. It would be their fault anyway.

Giving others permission to think for you

I know when something is wrong, but the exploiter convinces me that I’m what’s wrong. Killing people who aren’t from my background is supposed to benefit the world, isn’t it? My manipulator just gave me permission to kill people for being different from us, so if I praise whatever god my manipulator wants me to praise, I have to do whatever the puppet master wants me to do.

Manipulative evil

Relative to the section above, manipulators know how to scope out vulnerability. Once they find somebody who is easily manipulated, they can mold that person into whatever they want that vulnerable person to be. Using mind control tactics, they create armies of robots willing to carry out any instruction they give – even to the point of committing suicide.

Bullying

Mommy or Daddy brutalized me at home, so I’m going to brutalize my classmates. I’ll pick on the most vulnerable one I find and then I’ll carry that brute mentality into my adult life where I’ll brutalize my children, my spouse, and anyone who comes into contact with me. People will respect me, even if I have to beat the respect out of them.

POSSIBLE WAYS TO PREVENT VIOLENCE:

Erroneous thinking

We need to stop pigeonholing everyone. We all belong to different groups, but we are all individuals. By classifying people, we stereotype them as being either negative or positive. We need to recognize that though we might belong to one ethnic group or one religion, we are separate beings. Most serial killers are white males, but that doesn’t mean that all white men are serial killers. We need to apply logic to our thinking.

Instant gratification

One of the most difficult virtues to learn is patience, especially now when everything is so instantaneous. When we set goals and allow time to achieve those goals, we enjoy the fruits of our labor. We live in a fast-food world that eats dinners from a box or a bag – hurrying, hurrying, always hurrying – when, instead, we could enjoy a leisurely home-cooked meal with friends and family, siting by a fire or gazing at a lake. We are losing the ability to anticipate. We need to learn and practice relaxation, meditation – anything that calms us and helps us become more peaceful.

Short-term violent solutions to long-term problems

Solving any problem by violent means usually ends in regret – if the person who acted cruelly has a conscience. We need to learn alternate ways for dealing with frustration, loss, hardship, and other life situations – by whatever means necessary. Sometimes we find the answers in books or in time spent with friends. Sometimes we need help from qualified professionals. Whatever our problems are, we can’t rush to solve them.

We need input from reliable sources. We need to reach out for help. Rushing into solving problems without considering all consequences that result from making rash decisions could end in ways that produce even more problems. Be logical. Be patient. Seek help.

Blame

Things happen – to us! Maybe somebody raped us and a child resulted. We did not cause the pregnancy, but we now have to decide what to do about what changed our lives – forever. At some point we have to take responsibility for how we respond to what others did to us, regardless of what they did, because once we experience evil, we have to realize that we have a choice – we can live the rest of our lives blaming the person who performed those vile acts, or we can figure out a way to live our lives by helping ourselves – and possibly others – not only to overcome the vile acts, but also to rise above them and thrive!

Sometimes reaching out to others who experienced the same trauma we experienced is the best way to handle violent acts perpetrated upon us, because by reaching out we give – of ourselves – and when we give, we receive benefits we didn’t realize we would receive.

Fame

If media didn’t pay so much attention to violence and instead glorified those who work to bring peace to this world, we might find ourselves living in a more peaceful world. We spend way too much time discussing brutality and savagery than we do showcasing the positive qualities of being human.

Look at your conversations and ask yourself if they are filled with gossip and judgment. If they are, begin to focus on bringing more beauty and peace to your personal world, to your friends, your coworkers, and your family. Spread joy wherever you go. Being famous should not be the goal. Being joyful and positive is much more rewarding anyway.

Proving a point

If we feel we need to prove our points of view, unless we can show indisputable proof to validate our opinions, we might as well not show anything at all. If I believe in ghosts, for example, and you don’t, nothing I can say or do will prove to you that ghosts exist until you meet one. By the same token, if you don’t believe in ghosts, and I believe I’ve met one, you’d better prove to me scientifically, beyond a reasonable doubt, that ghosts don’t exist.

No matter how this argument ends, though, we don’t have to kill each other to prove our sides. We are all entitled to our own opinions. Having proof to back up our opinions is great, but losing a loved one because you had to prove how right you were is a huge price to pay for proving your point. Is sacrificing a sacred relationship just to prove your point worthy of the loss?

Access to illegal weapons

No matter how you feel about the 2nd Amendment, you have to admit that our founding fathers knew nothing of our current arsenal of assault weapons. Want a gun? Get a permit and buy one legally! Conceal and carry? Fine, but make sure that what you have is legal, that you know how to use it, and that you keep it away from children!

We need to hold ourselves and others accountable for our and their actions. With so many rules and regulations already on the books, though, why aren’t we enforcing those rules and regulations?

Drugs/Alcohol

We’ve called a war on recreational drugs, but we’ve lost. Somebody can stumble across this blog 300 years from now and we’ll still be dealing with drugs. Why? Because people think they need them – to cope with whatever is going on in their lives. Life is stressful for everyone at some point during their lives. What you are experiencing is no more stressful than what others experience. Your problem won’t be solved with drugs and alcohol. What will help you is learning how to cope with your stressors and understanding that all things truly do pass.

We also need to be honest about drugs and alcohol when we discuss their effects with our children. I explore these issues in the following two articles:

Help for Parents Who Don’t Want to See Their Drug-Abusing Kids Live on the Streets

and

Why What We’re Telling Our Kids About Drugs Doesn’t Help Them

Let’s empower kids by teaching them how to pay attention to their own feelings. If something doesn’t feel right to them, they need to address the problem immediately. We need to protect them and guide them. We need to be leaders.

Too many of us are followers. If we become parents, we have assumed a leadership role. We need to rise to the challenge to be the leader we were meant to be.

We owe it to ourselves and to our children to encourage them to trust themselves and not to succumb to peer pressure. If somebody promises them that drugs will make them feel euphoric, explain to them why they should stop paying attention to what the predators or manipulators tell them and to listen instead to their own consciences and their own inner voices.

The same goes for joining cults or listening to someone try to convince them to do something they know is wrong. Nobody who invites you or your child to join a cult will admit they belong to a cult, by the way.

Misplaced revenge

LOTS of people had horrible childhoods. Having a horrible childhood does NOT give you permission to act like an imbecile. You do NOT have the right to abuse others because somebody abused you. We were born with a conscience and we were born with a choice – to think.

Instead of seeking revenge by molesting the little boy down the street because Daddy molested you, become so successful DESPITE what happened to you that you overcome your past and enjoy your present and your future. Either dismiss Daddy or forgive him, but whatever you decide to do, get help for yourself and move on.

Giving others permission to think for you

One of the biggest problems I’ve noticed is that people can’t – or don’t want to – think for themselves. Are we lazy, or do we just not care? Even a child knows the difference between right and wrong, so why, when somebody with more authority tries to convince them and us that the more powerful person is right, do we allow that person to take control of our lives? We, who have no faith in ourselves, put all our faith in that other person. What we need to do is believe in ourselves and trust our instincts, and we need to encourage our children to do the same.

Manipulative evil

Manipulative evil is everywhere. Manipulators mesmerize, control, and lure unsuspecting victims into their lair. Kids learn how to manipulate from skilled adult manipulators. Manipulators are sneaky and create an environment of pseudo-trust. They know how to get into your mind and into your heart. We need to protect ourselves from these unscrupulous beings. Again, we need to pay attention to our instincts.

We cannot allow others to manipulate us and we need to protect our children from succumbing to the charms of manipulators, too. We all need to feel loved, and master manipulators know that. They seek out vulnerable individuals who don’t feel loved (sometimes only in the moment) and in less time than it takes for the charm to wear off, exploiters wrap their victims in intricate webs of deception.

BEWARE of these types of sociopaths and PROTECT yourself and others from them. They want to CONTROL you, and nobody but you has the right to control your thoughts and your actions.

Bullying

Power and control are what drive bullies. They feel impotent, so they have to exert whatever means necessary to take control of situations and people. Many bullies think that the recipients of their tyrannical behavior will respect them more because being a tyrant makes them feel powerful. So let’s pay attention to them and also to those kids who are being bullied.

Don’t ignore the signs of bullying (signs of bullying appear in the blogs linked below). Get bullies professional help BEFORE they go on murderous rampages! Get help for the ones being bullied too! Bullies (some of whom may be parents) may be grooming unsuspecting seemingly defenseless individuals to perform evil acts or they may be brainwashing them with techniques designed to siphon away all that is good in them. If you recognize this type of manipulative and/or bully behavior, be courageous enough to speak up for the one being manipulated or bullied.

Because I am deeply concerned about this issue, I wrote an article, entitled, Socializing, Peer Pressure, and Bullying: At Lunch, on the Bus, During Recess: Raising Confident Children and Managing Bullies. In it I outline not only why bullies bully, but also how to understand the bully. Another great article appears here – When Your Children are the Bullies, written on AUGUST 15, 2016, by John Pavlovitz.

In closing

Violence occurs because a lot of people respond emotionally to what happens to them. Looking at situations objectively is not always easy. Many people justify their behavior with “reasons” that make no sense to anybody but themselves. Learning how to think logically will help prevent irrational behavior.

What we all need to understand is that we are all flawed human beings who rely on each other for a variety of reasons. Unless we can grow our own crops, build our own homes, furniture, and appliances, find our own resources, and live without depending on anyone for anything, we need each other. I can’t sew, so I rely on others to make clothes for me. I don’t know how to manufacture refrigerators or ovens, so I rely on others to manufacture them for me. I also don’t know how to design shoes, assemble automobiles, or create my own Internet, so I depend on others for everything I don’t know how to do.

I am aware that I’m not alone! We all need each other, but more importantly we all need to recognize that we need each other! What will it take for us to choose peace over war? As I ask in the circle that appears above, “If Earth was in a war with other planets, would we then see ourselves as united?”

Chronic Constipation Defeated by Dynamite – the New Movement!

If you’re one of those lucky people who has never had a problem “going,” you won’t be able to relate to this post. If you’re disgusted by bodily functions, you’ll probably want to bypass this post …

Source: Chronic Constipation Defeated by Dynamite – the New Movement!

Chronic Constipation Defeated by Dynamite – the New Movement!

UPDATE: While this method worked for a solid three weeks, after three weeks, it stopped working continuously. That may have been because I wasn’t drinking as much water as I should have (I kept forgetting to drink water and water is necessary for fiber consumption; otherwise your stomach feels swollen and full). My body retaliated and refused to cooperate by allowing anything that entered the body to be expelled from the body. I felt bloated and way too full. As a result, I would recommend NOT following this program every day. Instead I would try it for two days on, then three days off, two days on, three days off, etc. Also remember to breathe, deeply and fully. Shallow breaths don’t help to move things along.

If you’re one of those lucky people who has never had a problem “going,” you won’t be able to relate to this post. If you’re disgusted by bodily functions, you’ll probably want to bypass this post as well. Because I’m going to be talking about poop – and especially the inability to poop. So if you’re sensitive to the discussion of bowel evacuation, look away, because I’m about to share some information that a lot of you will consider to be TMI (too much information). My goal, however, is to help others who suffer from the uncomfortable and often painful problem of constipation.

As far back as babyhood, I have had the annoying and frustrating habit of “not going.” My mother often reminds me about how I cried relentlessly as an infant and how colicky I was. I remember sitting in the bathroom as a teenager trying to force myself to go. I remember my father standing on the other side of the bathroom door, asking, “Have you fallen in?” which I think further contributed to my inability to relax enough to go. Knowing that somebody is taunting you from the other side of the only bathroom you share with the rest of the family is too much pressure, and not in the right area.

Though I tried and tried, I often went weeks without producing any bowel movements at all. Nothing made me feel more sluggish than carrying around what felt to be a hundred pounds of poop.

According to HealthDay from US News, I’m not the only one suffering from this problem. Chronic constipation affects nearly 63 million people and it can lead to more serious complications such as, “hemorrhoids, anal fissures, fecal incontinence, colonic conditions and urologic disorders.”

The article further states, “At least an association has been shown between constipation and other conditions, too. Studies of people with rectal prolapse, in which the rectum becomes stretched and protrudes from the anus, suggest such a relationship. More than 50 percent of people with anal fissures, which are small splits or tears in anal tissue, also have constipation. And fecal incontinence, the second most common cause for nursing home admissions, often occurs along with constipation, the researchers noted.”

Constipation affects us in ways we often don’t realize. For example, every morning during my working years, I had to rush – to get the kids ready, to get myself ready, to get to work on time (the list goes on and on), so for somebody like me, relaxing my body enough to defecate took too much time. Kids rushing in to use the same bathroom, everybody needing me for one reason or another, just didn’t allow me whatever time I needed to get the job done. I also didn’t have the luxury of escaping my workplace for prolonged periods of time, so I never went, except for maybe on a weekend when I had nothing else to do. Which was never.

I once asked a doctor what happened to waste that didn’t expel from a body. He said it had to go somewhere and if it didn’t go through normal channels, it got reabsorbed into the body and expelled through pores in the skin and through the lungs. Does anything sound more disgusting?

So I tried laxatives and stool softeners and teas, and though Smooth Move tea worked occasionally, NOTHING worked consistently. Even laxatives, something that everybody insisted would most definitely work, didn’t. Using them just made me feel more bloated than ever.

Enemas produced slight results, but not enough to help me feel completely empty. I couldn’t even use the entire product before it leaked out, possibly because of a blockage or because my body was retaliating from being forced to go. On days when I felt I might be able to move my bowels, what I produced amounted to a couple of stools the size of bunny pellets. I still felt bloated and uncomfortable. And frustrated! I had always read about how “proper eliminations” would help me feel better, but how does one achieve that goal when chronic constipation prevents one from evacuating the bowels?

When three weeks passed without eliminating anything (a previously common occurrence for me), and I finally felt the urge to go, the pain was so exceedingly excruciating, I felt as if I was giving birth to a baseball. My rectum split open and bled, and what finally emerged, after weeks of clogging my intestines, also clogged the toilet. For years I felt not only frustrated, but also angry. Doctors offered only smirky, pseudo-sympathetic nods. Colonoscopies revealed nothing, and the only thing doctors suggested was what I was already taking – stool softeners. Perhaps what I suffered from was merely a “sluggish” bowel, they said. Well, after experiencing chronic constipation for nearly 65 years, I was determined to WAKE UP that sluggish bowel!

One day a very close relative (who would be humiliated if I mentioned her name, but who suffers from the same problem) and I talked about how we envisioned using dynamite to relieve ourselves from this painful problem. After fantasizing about how good it would feel to be completely empty, a lightbulb exploded in my brain – I would use EVERYTHING TOGETHER! And I would call it Dynamite!

But how I would I prepare such a concoction?

Through experimentation, intuition, and research, I developed my own workable solution, and it is, in a word, Dynamite!

What is Dynamite, you ask? Obviously, I’m not talking about nitroglycerine explosives, though I think you get a fairly good picture about what exactly I intended to do to get myself “moving” – no – I’m talking about a mixture of guaranteed-to-work poop bombs! I decided to tackle the problem from as many different angles as possible – all at once. I already knew I had to increase my water intake and my fiber consumption, but what if I attacked the problem head-on with an arsenal of weaponry?

Guess what! It worked! I’m on day 7 now and I hope I’m not jinxing myself by announcing this solution too early. I hope I’m setting into motion a solution that will continue to work so that I don’t have to rely on this arsenal every day for the rest of my life. I’m hoping that once my body gets used to doing what it was supposed to do since birth, it will figure out how to “properly eliminate” on its own.

So what is this arsenal?

It’s a combination of solutions. Yes, I drink as much water as I can. Yes, I eat as much fiber as I can. But in addition to those solutions, every morning for the past 7 mornings, I have made myself a cup of coffee (something I drink every day, but it has never helped produce results; however, it is a stimulant, so I hope to get the “baseball” rolling by starting my day with it). After coffee, I warm some apple cider, into which I drop a Smooth Move tea bag and 2 teaspoons of Benefiber.

At night I take 2 stool softeners and a laxative (in pill form). In the morning, while drinking my coffee, I take in slow deep breaths and exhale slowly (breathing properly is important – as an asthmatic, I had to factor in the possibility that lung function and bowel function were related). Either during my cup of coffee or during my cup of cider tea, when my nose begins to run (a relationship exists between sinuses and bowels – every time I feel the need to go, my nose runs), I feel my Dynamite working!

While I don’t have a customary exercise routine, I try to move as much as possible, to do in 10 steps what might normally take me only 2 steps. In other words, I move more often than I would normally move, especially when I am performing routine tasks. If, for example, instead of grabbing everything from my dryer and walking to the bedroom to hang up everything at once, I hang up one piece of clothing at a time, walking from my washing machine or dryer all the way into the bedroom for each article of clothing. “Moving” apparently prepares the mind to move everything inside the body.

So far, this week has been the most enjoyable week of my entire life – I have “gone” 7 days in a row!

I’ll repeat the Dynamite Concoction recipe here:

Every Day

Drink lots of water

Eat lots of fiber

Every Morning

1 Cup of Coffee, followed by

1 Cup of Warm Apple Cider with one Smooth Move tea bag and 2 teaspoons of Benefiber.

Every Night

2 stool softeners and a laxative (in pill form)

If you decide to try my Dynamite Concoction, give yourself some time. Go about your daily routine. Allow the concoction to work without force. Relax. Breathe. Don’t expect instantaneous results. You’ll put too much pressure on yourself and your body will retaliate by holding everything in. If you normally rush to work in the morning, slow down. Put your makeup on while you sit on the toilet if necessary, because if you’re used to being constipated, you might be surprised by the urge to go on the first day after using my Dynamite Concoction. You may even have to take a Health Day (as opposed to a sick day).

I hope my Dynamite Concoction works as well for you as it does for me! Let’s start a movement, a Bowel Movement!

Disclaimer – I am not a doctor. All products can be found on store shelves. I would advise checking with your doctor if you have any concerns or if you suffer from other medical conditions beyond chronic constipation. 

 

Why Should You Help This Family? They Made Their Own Choices!

Rarely, though more often these days, do people reach out for help when they need it. For a number of reasons, people who need help keep silent, possibly because of the abuse and criticism to which they know they will be subjected; possibly because they’re “too proud” to ask for help.

This couple, though, Lyn and Rich, reached out for help, and “friends” backed out of the way, because, after all, their situation resulted from choices they made.

I empathize completely. My choices made me a single parent – twice. My choices sucked me into poverty. Some people were astoundingly critical. The criticisms and condemnations were hurtful. I held down two and sometimes three jobs while going to school full time in order to improve my circumstances while raising my youngest three children. It was an exhausting time, but necessary.

So, yes, the repercussions that resulted from my decisions (I take full ownership) shouldn’t have to be your problem. Why should you help somebody like me when I chose to marry the men who either refused to pay any child support at all or who paid less than they were supposed to pay?

My situation was different from Lyn’s and Rich’s, though. My parents and one of my sisters stepped forward to help me financially when cars broke down (which happened often) and other sudden unexpected expenses arose. Even with their help, I still lived at or below the poverty level, but I survived with the help of my family.

Lyn and Rich aren’t so lucky with financial support. They met online, formed a business partnership (they’re both freelance writers), and fell in love. On the day Lyn was supposed to fly out to be with him, Rich discovered he had cancer and had to undergo treatment. Lyn was by his side at the hospital throughout his treatments and when chemo was complete, they drove back to be with her family. Lyn has four children. Rich had none, and he was told that because of his cancer, he probably would never be able to have a child.

So imagine their surprise and delight when Lyn and Rich discovered they were going to have a baby! Blessing as it was, it was also a financial upheaval neither one was prepared to handle and neither of them had parents who were able to help financially. But Lyn and Rich are resourceful and Lyn jumped online to find a number of items to “win” (on Listia) for their little Nova Skye, due in June.

Because Lyn requires bedrest due to complications with her pregnancy, her inability to contribute financially has further fractured the family’s income. With four other kids and a couple of pets to support, they have to seek other accommodations, so they will no longer be a burden to Lyn’s mom (though I doubt Lyn’s mom sees it that way).

Yes, we have all made choices that have landed us in our current predicaments. Yes, Rich was told he would probably not be able to have kids. But he and Lyn are expecting their baby very soon. I see that as a miracle. Like being told you’ll probably never win the lottery, you expect you won’t, but sometimes you do. Lyn and Rich felt they won the lottery when they met each other and now are going to have a baby. They risked reaching out to ask friends to help them, and some of those friends abandoned them. I am not one of those friends.

You can read Their Story by clicking the link.

Afterword: Lyn and Rich share the same birthday, May 8th, so Happy Birthday to you both! (I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your photo.)

How My Most Embarrassing Moment Won Me a Prize

Theresa Wiza's Blog

Many years ago, a local radio station ran a contest asking people to talk about their most embarrassing moments. While I experience embarrassing moments on an almost daily basis, one stood out from the rest and I called the radio station to tell them about it. I won dinner for two at an amazing restaurant because of this, my most embarrassing moment:

My sister, Cindy, and I decided to take a trip to Lake Shafer in Monticello, Indiana. The day was HOT. I don’t mean the kind of hot that people talk about as in, “I couldn’t breathe, it was so hot.” I mean the kind of heat that was so stifling, that as we drove in my no-air-conditioner car, we became so delusional, we actually got out of the car when we saw a sign that said, “Watch for ice on bridge.”

My sister was wearing a tube top and…

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