Yay, Illinois!

Posted: July 17, 2015 in Uncategorized
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Illinois is notorious for its unscrupulous governors. Illinois residents have been shaking their heads for quite a few years over the abundance of nonsense that runs amok in our state.

And now we have Governor Rauner who is slashing the throats of anyone who is unfortunate enough to need financial aid. Yes, say goodbye to the Department of Human Services programs that help individuals who work for minimum wage and have families to support. Say goodbye to programs that help the disabled. Say goodbye to child care subsidies. Those people shouldn’t be working anyway. We like to think of them as lazy, stay-at-home, welfare-collecting subhumans. If they work, they don’t fit our perceptions about people who need help.

And if you disagree with Rauner? Sorry! Compassion and empathy are no longer allowed in Illinois. If you even try to pass a bill that doesn’t help the wealthy in some way, he will veto veto veto whatever you bring before him! He has his own agenda and you’d better agree with him.

What does Rauner want all these low-income people to do? Well, isn’t it obvious? He wants to continue aiding the rich to become richer and the poor to become poorer!

Ironically, Rauner has passed a law giving back to Illinoisans the Happy Hour we’ve missed since 1989. Yeah, that’s what’s going to make us Illinoisans happy – drinking – lots and lots of drinking. Oh, but we have a few restrictions – no more all-you-can-drink offers or two-for-one sales, and we are limited to only four hours in which to participate.

Hurry! Drink as much as you can in four hours and make sure you get to the bars before 10! Maybe Rauner wants us all to fall into comas so he can successfully get rid of all of us who aren’t rich enough to afford Illinois residency.

So gather the poor, the feeble, the lame, and the blind, and head to your favorite bar.  Illinois cops, by the way, will be on standby during those hours! 


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