My Brain is in My Head, But My Mind is in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Posted: April 22, 2015 in Uncategorized
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Previously published on and then removed from Persona Paper during Summer or Fall 2014 when I was selling my home, packing, and moving.

In my shower this morning, as I was grabbing the towel to dry off, I thought, “Did I wash myself?” I frequently question my every move, because I have a habit of forgetting what I’m doing even while I’m doing it.

Take reading, for example. The reason I now read magazines or online blogs only is because by the time I’m four or five pages into a book, even if the book is riveting, somewhere along the way, somewhere during those four or five pages, my mind vacates my skull.

Driving, unless I’m going to the same place I’ve been – and sometimes even if I’ve been there hundreds of times, presents even more problems. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bypassed my turn because my mind was elsewhere.

So this morning, while I was taking my shower, my mind drifted to my grocery list, because I had to purchase things I didn’t want to forget, and to my writing, because I came up with another idea for a post (don’t ask me what it is now – I forgot to buy the soap crayons that would have served me well for just those kinds of moments – to the crocheted baby shoes I left unfinished (update Spring 2015 ~ they’re still unfinished) – to the jewelry I left unfinished – to the woman who is going to look at my house this evening (don’t forget to vacuum and clean the bathrooms again) – and to other things I can’t remember right now.

Sometimes I wish I had a personal assistant to remind me about everything I don’t want to forget. I’m thinking of one of my granddaughters right now. I see reflections of myself in her eyes sometimes, in those moments when she has gone from being right there with me to those moments when her eyes look right through me and I have to guide her back into the conversation. She, too, sometimes lives in that galaxy far, far away.

That last paragraph reminds me of my former newspaper job. My immediate boss had an office that was so hot, I could feel the synapses in my brain melting as she spoke. She usually discussed with me long projects she wanted me to design and she had her own ideas, which I tried to incorporate, but a few minutes into her suggestions, my mind would escape the extreme heat and I missed out on just about everything she told me.

Finally, after working with her for several weeks, I admitted that I sometimes missed out on a lot of what she was saying, not because I wasn’t paying attention, and not because what she was saying was boring, although her voice was so soothing she could have lulled me to sleep with it, but because my brain just couldn’t handle staying focused – especially in that type of heat. She admitted she had the same problem and I was relieved to know that I hadn’t just lost my job.

Maybe I have too many things going on, but if you were to ask me to concentrate on only one thing, my body would go into spasms. I honestly can not sit still long enough nor can I stay satisfied long enough to work on only one project for very long. If I don’t flit from one idea to another and from one project to the next, I can feel my whole body start to retaliate. Even doing things I love to do doesn’t keep me satiated. I get bored way too easily, and I have to refresh myself by continuing with another project that I might have already started or with another project I can’t wait to begin. If I were forced to choose only one, I would feel as if I were in a straightjacket.

I think I just figured it out – when you run around like a chicken with its head cut off, the brains tend to seep out, don’t they? I know I’m not alone, am I? By the way, I did wash myself. I remembered lathering up my sponge. That was today, wasn’t it?


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