Michelle Pfeiffer Taught Me How to Wear a Bra

Posted: February 17, 2015 in Uncategorized
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Excuse me for the TMI (too much information, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the acronym), but I feel that I must discuss my breasts in order for you to understand why Michelle Pfeiffer’s method of wearing a bra is so important to me. And I’m not talking about my breast cancer, for those of you who know me that well. I’m talking about my breasts before cancer and after I was able to resume wearing a bra.

For most of my life, I was called, “flat-chested.” The term isn’t actually accurate, though, because my breasts point outward and sit mostly under my arms, giving my chest the appearance of being flat. The way I used to put on my bra was the way I learned how to wear it from others who bent forward and dropped their breasts into the cups of their bra. But that method never helped me, because the moment I stood up, my breasts returned to their original position – under my armpits. (I know – I’m painting a picture of myself as looking completely deformed, so you will understand how happy I was to learn from Michelle Pfeiffer how to appear at least somewhat normal.)

So how did she teach me?

For that explanation, I need to refer you to the 1996 movie, One Fine Day, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, who plays Melanie Parker, and George Clooney, who plays Jack Taylor. In one scene, Melanie is getting ready for a date with Jack. She stands in front of a mirror, reaches into her bra, and brings her breasts toward the center of her chest. What a GENIUS move! Why hadn’t I thought of that method before? Not only did it work for me, but it also gave me cleavage!

Though the beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer (who has been making headlines lately by being mentioned in not one, but two songs, Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars and Riptide by Vance Joy) will never read my post, I want to thank her for helping me learn how to wear a bra so I could experience first-hand how it feels to have cleavage for the first time in my life.

Thank you, Michelle Pfeiffer, wherever you are!

  1. It’s funny but true that many of us can think of things we’ve learned from movies that have nothing to do with the story itself. The others may just need to watch more closely!

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