SICK of all the Gay Bashing

Posted: October 6, 2012 in Uncategorized
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One of my favorite friends is a gay man I met while I was teaching desktop publishing at a local community college. He and his wife had joined my class and I eventually worked with Scott’s family, where my desk sat within arm’s reach of Scott’s. He didn’t know that he was gay at the time, but he always suspected.

Men (and women) born in the 60’s (and earlier) knew that they were expected to grow up, find a job, get married, and support a family. Scott followed suit, but when we worked together in his family’s business, nobody, including his family members, knew that he was gay.

Scott and I spent most of every day together from early morning to late evening, and developed a very close relationship. We met for dinner occasionally and developed a very close relationship. Both Scott’s family and my children thought Scott and I were having an affair. I couldn’t convince anybody that Scott was like the brother I never had. How can you explain a male/female relationship so close it crosses an invisible barrier into family? I couldn’t.

We laughed – a lot – and worked – a lot – and after I left his family’s business, we kept in touch. During one of our dinners, Scott shared with me that he was gay. Was I surprised, he wanted to know? No, I wasn’t. As he kidded later, he laughed about the fact that everybody, including him, should have known – in addition to being a desktop designer, he designed floral arrangements for weddings.

Just as I would suspect most families’ responses to be, Scott’s various family members handled the information differently. It took years before his son, who was a teenager at the time, could accept his father’s sexual orientation. His wife too, understandably, took the news hard.

But eventually, family came to accept and support Scott, and he continues to be one of my most treasured friends.

Extended family members of mine are also gay, and I suspect that even more people than I know are gay as well. I sincerely believed that when Ellen “came out,” society would become more accepting of the gay community.

They have not. Gays are STILL getting bashed, humiliated, and KILLED!

Gay people are NOT abominations. They are NOT evil, and if YOU think they are, then YOU have a problem.

All of the gay people I know are loving, creative individuals, whose only crime is that they love another human being. And yet they are emotionally jailed by many in the straight community (including members of their own families) for no other reason than that they LOVE someone of the same sex.

How does that make sense? How did we ever come to the point where we hate one human being for loving another human being?

I firmly believe that a lot of this gay bashing comes from children whose parents consider gay to be synonymous with evil. And so the children, without thinking for themselves, adopt their parents’ beliefs and live their lives accordingly. Without THINKING for themselves, they don’t reason. They just continue to accept their parents’ beliefs as fact. And if parents think gay bashing is appropriate, kids may bully children they perceive to be gay.

Am I gay, you may be asking? No, I am not. Do I understand what it’s like to be gay? Again, no. But I also believe that we ALL deserve to be loved in the way we want to be loved. Hating someone for loving someone makes absolutely NO SENSE!

No matter where your religious affiliations lie, or even if you have no religious affiliations, you have to understand that love is the guiding principle in the world. Without love, we wither emotionally and die. We all need to love and to be loved. Persecuting someone for being different proves only one thing – the persecutor’s ignorance.

STOP the bullying! STOP the gay bashing! STOP hating. Just STOP!

  1. Scott Wheeler says:

    Wow, what a wonderful recap of those difficult year! I think deep down I knew you accepting me before all this even came out, and that you saw the “real” me and became a lifelong friend. I feel bad we are not close to each other in proximity, but do know that we are close to each other mentally. I treasure you as one of my closest friends, and with all the gay bashing that goes on, feel a calmness that reassures me “I am ok, and loved for who I am”. We did have a lot of great times working together and I know that was “part of the plan” in making me who I am today. Thank, Theresa for the blog.. I know it will help people who do not understand the stuggles of being gay, come to terms with knowing who their friend, son, daughter, brother, sister or just an acquaintance really is, and accept them for one of God’s creatures. Love you, “sis”. Scott

    • theresawiza says:

      Wow! I was actually going to send you a link to this in an email, so I’m happy you found it on your own. I guess “the straw that broke the camel’s back” as far as my opinions about the gay community is concerned, came when the boyfriend of a woman I know told that woman’s brother that he was going to “beat the gay out of him.” Not only did I think he was being rude to the man who was gay, but also insensitive to that man’s sister! Such a demeaning comment, even though it was the threat of a bullying situation felt like a kick in my stomach. I HAD to write this blog. I KNOW a lot of straight people feel the way I do. Just look at the comment by Write W.A.V.E Media! Love you, Brother by another mother.

  2. Great post, Theresa. It sickens me as well that people can have so much hate for what is obviously pure love. To love another — no matter if they are the same or opposite sex — is the most sacred act by another human. I am not a lesbian either. However, I feel that if people would be more open-minded and just love without expectation or limits, the world would be a better place.

  3. […] Follow @theresawizaFollow Me On Bloggers! Theresa Wiza’s BlogSICK of all the Gay Bashing October 6, 2012One of my favorite friends is a gay man I met while I was teaching desktop […]

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