Why Do I Bother?

Posted: August 13, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Yesterday felt like a Monday all day to me. Please don’t ask me to explain why a certain day feels like a Monday or a Tuesday or a … you get the idea. I have no idea.

All I know is that yesterday felt like a Monday. Maybe I’m a little discombobulated because I was gone for most of the summer and entering different time zones confuses me. Whatever the reason, I’m home in rainy (yay!!!!) Illinois now and I’m trying to orient myself to living back at home.

But I’m not doing a great job of it apparently.

On Saturday morning (Saturday actually felt like a Saturday, but then so did Sunday), I deposited a check into an account that was getting close to negative. For some reason, I completely forgot that checks have to “clear”. So, yesterday I took my youngest daughter to Barnes and Noble to treat her to coffee and soup, because she is always treating me to dinners and lunches, and I wanted to return at least one small favor. But my debit card didn’t work.

Remember, not only did I think it was Monday, but I thought I had enough money to cover my expenses. Here’s the conversation with the Barnes and Noble cashier:

Me: Is something wrong with your debit card machine?

Cashier: I don’t think so, but this is the first time I’m using it today.

Me: (after trying it three times) Let me call my bank.

(pause)

(continued)

Hmm, it’s telling me the branch office is closed. Why would it be closed? This isn’t a holiday, is it? What is the date? Why would it be closed? I don’t understand why nobody is there.

Cashier: I think they’re closed today. Maybe you can call the 800 number.

Me: OK, thanks. I’ll try that.

And that’s when I realized it was Sunday. So I wrote a check.

But wait! That’s not all! (Now I’m reminding myself of an infomercial – have you lost all your brain cells – would you like to get them back – here at Brain Sell we sell brain cells – and if you call now, we’ll double our offer.)

Yes. There’s more. You see, by the time I got home I forgot – again – that I had no money in my checking account, so I jumped online and paid a couple of bills! AND I went to Walmart and bought some much needed paper products where I paid for everything with a check.

Still more. Somewhere my driver’s license sits, possibly in the trash. Every time I wrote out a check yesterday, I handed over my OLD driver’s license, the one clearly marked with the expiration date of July, 2012, praying the cashier wouldn’t look at the date.

I discovered the loss of my newly obtained driver’s license at the airport security check line after standing in line for nearly an hour. “Did you know your license expired?” What! No, it didn’t. I renewed it. Damn Walgreens. They probably attached it in an envelope and I threw it out, forgetting I had given them my license.

So today – if I don’t forget to make the call – I will call my bank and explain to them that I – OH MY GOD! What CAN I say?

That I’m like a computer from the 1980s and that I have limited memory capabilities?

That I’m suicidal and that if they charge me for each expenditure I’ll kill myself?

That I’m menopausal and that I’ll kill them? I can’t lie – I’ve been post menopausal for 14 years.

Maybe I’ll just tell the truth – that Sunday felt like a Monday and that I’m slowly losing every brain cell that involves memory. I’d better set an alarm for a time I think the bank opens and pray that I remember why I’ve set the alarm. Usually what happens is that I hear a sound. My eyes pop open. I look around.

“Do you hear that?” I ask to anybody in the room. “What is that?”

“It sounds like it’s coming from your purse.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s my phone. I wonder who I assigned that ring tone to. – Oh, it’s an alarm. Why did I set my alarm?”

I wish alarms had a notes mode attached to them.

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Thank you for visiting!

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Comments
  1. Nancy Mihas says:

    From: james ellis [mailto:rags_601@yahoo.com] Sent: Friday, March 01, 2013 12:11 PM To: Donna Allman; chris & nancy ; deb baran; betty holland; Kelly M; marilyn; paula newlin; Michael Nowlan Subject: Fw: Fwd: Chemo Day

  2. Nancy Mihas says:

    Poor Terry.

  3. Linda says:

    Theresa imthink one reason I enjoy your blogs so much is that they kseem t be about me. Happy banking, fellow ditz! (meant in a funny not insulting way. ). Lindy Lou

    • theresawiza says:

      Linda, we will now officially be known as The Ditz Sisters. So nice to know my woes resonate with you. I will keep them coming (not out of desire, but out of necessity 🙂

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