My Letter From Simon Cowell

Posted: March 22, 2011 in Uncategorized

I recently received a letter from Simon Cowell. You know, THE Simon Cowell. I was about to trash it, thinking that maybe it was a different Simon Cowell, but no, it truly was THE Simon Cowell.

In the letter, Simon asked me (yes, me – he called me HELLO), “Do you, a friend or a family member have what it takes to become a global superstar? I’m looking for the next singing sensation, someone with that special something – ‘The X Factor.'”

Singing? Do you even know me, Simon Cowell? How about WRITING? Can you run a search for a WRITER with the X Factor? Do you have any idea how hard it is for writers to get noticed? What are we going to do, sit on a stage with a typewriter and whisk off pages one at a time or wow you with our laptop abilities?

How about this, Simon Cowell? How about a program that showcases actors and writers? You could ask groups of writers to create TV sitcoms, made-for-TV programs, or music videos, and then ask performers to act or sing what the writers have written? How about that? Huh?

Sadly, nothing like that exists for writers. But if you are a singer who thinks you have the X Factor, Simon Cowell says, “The X Factor is my new show launching this Fall on Fox. It’s a make-it-or-break-it singing competition, and this time there are no restrictions. Solo singers, vocal groups and anyone over the age of 12 have (sic) the chance to win a $5 million recording deal with Sony Music. There’s NO upper age limit!”

You’d better hurry though. Auditions begin soon (Saturday, March 26th in Los Angeles). They are also being held on different dates in Miami, Newark, Seattle, Chicago, and Dallas.

So if you’re the newest great sensation and you want more information (see? I even rhyme without trying), visit Simon Cowell’s website at Or call the X Factor’s toll free information line at 855.345.5678.

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  1. S Faloon says:

    I love this! I feel the same way. Why don’t we get a competition? There are models, singers, dancers, chefs and special effects competitions. There’s designers, bakers and cake decorators but the poor old writer with the real imagination has to sit by and take it all in while typing. :0)

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