A Different Kind Of Jealousy – Time

Posted: August 7, 2009 in 1

I hate to admit it, but I am jealous of you. Yes, you.

Why, you ask? Because you have time to read this post. I can’t even find time to read my emails. As of this very minute, in fact, I have 1,793 unread emails in my inbox, not to mention the 197 emails in my spam folder (so why do I mention it?) – but really, when will I have time to read them all?

And now that I think about it, why would I want to read them all? Most of them are forwards anyway, most of which I have probably already read. So why don’t I just throw them all away? Well, what if one of them is important? What if one of them is inspiring? What if one of them came from – my mother – and she quizzed me on its contents? “Did you get that email I sent you? I checked it out on snopes and it’s true. What did you think about it?”

“Um (sweat dribbling down my forehead), let me get back to you on that.” I shrivel in fear at the thought of it.

You might wonder why I am writing this post when I obviously have so many other things to do. Well, quite frankly, I’m trying to build up a portfolio of blogs so that somebody will hire me to write blogs (and articles). I have gone to great lengths in my pursuit of PAYING (by PAYING I mean MONEY-PRODUCING) writing jobs. I’ve written numerous articles (found HERE) and many blogs all in an attempt to live my dream.

In my Dream Come True ??? blog (if you’re a writer looking for a blog job, you may want to click on the link), I write about what happens to me, or more accurately what doesn’t happen to me (sob, sob), every time I attempt to pursue a legitimate writing career.

Whine, whine, whine. I know. I whine a lot. But here’s the thing: every time I set aside blocks of time to write, SOMETHING comes up. People who know me say, “Well, it’s because you expect something to come up.”

Really. What I expect is that when I set aside time to write, I will actually have time to write. Excuse me a moment while I scrape off some of that sarcasm. Now – let’s just take the only two days this week – outside of “quiet time” when all little children in my household are either watching a movie or sleeping – that would have been my time to write.

Only one child was supposed to be here this past Monday because the other two children (my grandchildren) were on vacation and I would be able to write during the baby’s two naps. Guess what – right in the middle of an email, ZAP! – out went the lights!

Now, the obvious question might be, “Did you pay your light bill?” But here’s the unusual answer: One day at the end of June, I dropped my light bill and four other bills into the mail slot. Fast forward to a few weeks later when I received a disconnect notice from the electric company. WHAT? I mailed that bill the same day I mailed four other bills and everybody else got their payments! What was going on?

So I did what any electricity lover would do – I called the electric company to ask what happened. Of course I had to call my bank to see if the check cleared (it didn’t) and call back the electric company, and that’s when my writing life fell apart AGAIN. Because what I should have done was get the name of the %*%#^ who told me she thought she knew where she could look for my payment (and I believed her) and that she would get back to me to let me know if she found it.

Fast forward even further to this past Monday. My call to the electric company convinced me that I truly am living in a Twilight Zone episode: When I explained to the young man on the phone at the electric company about the previous phantom electric company employee who promised to look for my payment, I heard, “Oh, NOBODY here would EVER tell you that!” I could almost see him rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disgust. “None of us would EVER know WHERE your payment might be, so we would NEVER look for it. I don’t know WHO told you that.”

SCREAM! I half expected a little girl to reach down into my house, pull me out of it, and place me in a different universe. (If you missed that episode of Twilight Zone, I extend my apologies for the previous sentence possibly not making any sense.)

But back to my phone call with the imaginary electric company employee – as a result of my belief in my memory of the conversation I had with the electric company employee who promised not only to look for my payment, but to get back to me about it, Monday was wasted as I awaited the return of my electricity – after making a second payment.

But then, miracle of all miracles, the mother of the only child I would have had on Tuesday told me her baby wouldn’t be coming on Tuesday. NOBODY would be home with me. I could write all day without interruption (well, except for the incessant ramblings in my own brain) – I HAD A WHOLE DAY TO WRITE! YIPPEEEEE! Finally, finally, finally, I could anticipate a whole day of nothing but writing and searching for a blog job or any writing job! I was in a state of bliss.

Until:

Tuesday morning thunder crashed into my home so loudly I thought it was going to explode. Lightening pierced the sky in a spectacular show of God’s mighty force. Lights flickered on and off, and the electricity that I had just paid for twice was now wreaking havoc in my home. My computer smirked at me, though it was difficult to see in pitch darkness. I’m sure I saw it shrugging its shoulders and raising its palms skyward.

And so, here I am, the morning following quiet time, because I couldn’t finish this post yesterday with all the many interruptions, watching my email inbox numbers grow and wishing somebody would say, “You know what? YOU are a phenomenal writer and I would like to hire you to write blogs for me.”

Of course if that happened, I would have to quit writing this blog, because what would I whine about?

Know anybody who needs a good blog writer and is willing to pay for one? I’m tired of feeling jealous.

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